BY ANDREW MORKES, FOUNDER AND AUTHOR OF “NATURE IN CHICAGOLAND”
Regular readers of my Nature in Chicagoland blog might have noticed that I’ve been a bit quiet for the last year or so. Work and personal health challenges sometimes get in the way of getting out in and writing about the great outdoors. But the main factor for my absence was my mom’s declining health. As my mom’s health worsened over the last year (especially in the last six months of her life), I was lucky enough to be able to support her during her multiple hospital stays and nearly five months at a nursing home. Supporting an elderly parent (e.g., visits, insurance challenges, tests, therapy sessions, daily conversations with healthcare professionals of all types) can be challenging and exhausting, but I’m so happy that I could be there for my mom and support and love her at the end of her long life. My mom passed away on September 25, 2025. She was a strong and lovely person and made friends wherever she went in her life. She was almost always in a good mood (even when life was challenging), which serves as a good lesson for us all. Despite the fact that we knew it was coming, it is still shocking that my mom is no longer with us. She was in my life for 20,415 days, and then she was suddenly gone. No more phone calls and letters from her. No more bags of cookies and other treats to take home. No more holidays and lunches with her. No more kind words and silly moments. It’s such a strange feeling to know that someone who was with you from the moment you were conceived and born is gone. But life goes on, and I’m trying to remember all the good moments of our more than 55 years together as opposed to the bad ones.
I’d like to share the eulogy that I gave for her on October 1. I hope that it provides a glimpse of my mom’s “wonderfulness.” I look forward to returning to a steady schedule of nature stories from now on. There is so much about nature in Chicagoland to love.
Eulogy
My mom loved to call the birds from her kitchen window. It looks out to the Metra train station and yard, which she planted with canna lilies, towering prairie grasses, and other colorful plants during her younger days. A tall bird feeder sat just outside her window. My mom would make a high-pitched whistle (it was really loud), and often a bright red cardinal and her mate would come zooming through the trees and land on the feeder just a few feet away from her. She’d talk to them like they were almost human. My mom found joy from interacting with birds and butterflies and the natural world. Her love of nature is just one wonderful story about my mom that I’d like to share with you, but more on that later.
My mom died last Thursday morning shortly after midnight. After living more than 60 years in her home in Beverly, my mom spent the last five months of her life at Asbury Court in Des Plaines near my home. The staff gave her wonderful care, and I will be eternally grateful to them for providing this care, helping her to retain her dignity amidst the indignities of aging, and making her laugh on challenging days.
But my mom is at peace, and I would like to now celebrate her wonderful life.
My mother was born on July 28, 1940, in Evanston, Illinois, to the late Dorothy and Philip Gance. Her dad was from Italy, and her mom had Czech heritage. I remember hearing both Italian and Czech (to a lesser extent) spoken in the house when we visited. I always thought that this was exotic, but my family was just another example of immigrants who come to the United States and work hard to build a new life for themselves. My mom grew up in Kenilworth, Illinois, with her parents and her brothers Bernard and Philip. Her best friend was Vivian Kullberg, with whom she maintained a lifelong friendship. As a young woman, my mom loved dressing up (she often talked about her clip-on feather earrings, pretty blouses, and pencil-skirts). She and Vivian would take the train downtown and go to the movies and see the city. They’d then take the return train to Kenilworth, pick a spot between their houses, say goodbye to one another, and race to their respective homes.
My mom loved sports as a child. She loved ice skating and ice hockey and would tell us that she loved racing home after a freezing night of play to warm up on the radiator at home. My mother received many ribbons for winning ice-skating races. She also liked to tell us about an opponent who slammed a puck into her knee during a game. She always seemed proud of her resilience in that moment, rather than troubled by the pain. That was her. She had grit and resilience and seemed to thrive during challenging moments. My mom’s need for speed and love of physical activity continued into adulthood. She was a physical force of nature when we were kids. I remember her painting the basement, chopping wood, baking cookies, taking us to the park, cleaning out the garage, and preparing lunch and dinner—all in one day. I also remember her getting frequently “pulled over” by the skate police for going too fast at Hope Lutheran skating parties at the Oak Lawn Roller Rink.
In the late 1950s, my mom met George Morkes, the love of her life. They married in 1962 and initially resided in McKinley Park before settling in Beverly a few years later. I thank my parents for moving to Beverly/Morgan Park—a special place that is hilly, leafy, and full of homes that were designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, Walter Burley Griffin, Harry Waterman (who designed my parents’ home), and other well-known architects. Their new home needed a lot of work, and my talented father was the perfect person to do it. My mom provided much-needed construction advice to my father. The living room of their new house had a fireplace, but the slate and bricks needed work. My dad replaced mortar, subbed out broken bricks, and otherwise made it fire ready. But then it came time to install the slate in front of the fireplace. My dad wondered, “how far should the slate reach to catch a spark before it could ignite the rug?” My mom had a solution. She stood next to the fireplace and announced that she was a spark, suddenly jumping as far as she could. As she landed, she told me later, she said to my dad, “That’s where the edge of the tile should be,” and that’s where it is to this day. Growing up, we spent many nights enjoying the fireplace. My mom and dad both loved fires—and chopping wood—so we’d often have fires throughout the summer. My parents built a wonderful life together. They had two sons, first my brother Tony in 1966 and then myself in 1969. My mom and dad had a deep and loving partnership that lasted until his death in 1997.
My mom had many great traits, skills, and qualities, and I’d like to highlight a few and share some favorite stories.
My mother was a talented gardener. She didn’t like gardening, she LOVED it. When she wasn’t gardening in the warm months, she was paging through gardening and flower magazines mid-winter and sending me suggestions. My mom was a wizard at turning a sad tract of city grass or pile of dirt into something beautiful. Some of her favorite flowers were canna lilies, roses, hostas, black-eyed Susans, caladiums, and sawtooth sunflowers. At one time, she was gardening the yards in her own house and, as a volunteer, the greenery at the Metra train station next door, and at Belmont Food Mart, dry cleaners, and the coffee shop across the train tracks. In the warm months, my mom spent hours outside gardening. My father would come home from work with plans to go out to dinner, and he’d have to go search for her to convince her to come in and get ready. In 1989, my mom received an Honorable Mention in the City of Chicago’s Annual Garden & Block Contest.
My mom loved the holidays. She had decorations for nearly every holiday. Christmas was her favorite. She enjoyed filling nearly every room in her house with Christmas trees, Santas and snowmen, wreaths, candles, lights, and other decorations. Halloween was another favorite. My mother was famous for her flavored popcorn balls. She loved meeting the trick-or-treaters and seeing their costumes. Even after she had to use a wheelchair, she’d ask a friend to come over to help her answer the bell and hand out treats. A friend just told me that her brother would still come by my mom’s house at Halloween to get popcorn balls even though he was way too old to trick-or-treat.
My mother loved the snow and winter. She enjoyed winter sports as a teen, and loved shoveling snow and being outside in the winter. She loved anticipating a good winter storm. If it hadn’t snowed in a while, she’d place a sign on the window that faced our neighbor’s side windows that said, “Think Snow!” Our neighbors loved the sign, but weren’t fans of the snow.
My mom’s favorite color was red. She painted her nails bright red, loved red lipstick, and often wore red blouses and outfits. She even had a red couch and chair. She said red made her feel happy. It was her power color, and red is the color of love.
My mother was very supportive and empathetic to my brother and me, her friends, and to people whom she didn’t know. She was always calling us and sending letters and cards to check-in, celebrate our life victories, and support us during hard times. One recent moment that stands out occurred when I walked into the nursing home to see my mom sobbing. I asked her what was wrong, and she pointed to some of the people at the other tables. She said, “It’s so sad that they’re sick and suffering.” It was ironic because she was sicker than most people in that group.
My mother could be stubborn at times. Let’s call it “firm in her commitment to doing whatever she wanted regardless of the consequences” or, less diplomatically, “let’s drive my sons crazy.” One example: she usually wore her seat belt in the car but occasionally decided to go rogue. One time, I asked her if she had her seatbelt on, she said yes, and then I looked over at her in the passenger seat to see her clutching the unclasped seatbelt in front of her body as if that would protect her from disaster. She kept saying “It’s on, It’s on” with a devilish smile on her face and a raised eyebrow.
My mom was very principled. She’d let you know right away if she didn’t like something or someone wasn’t acting to her standards. My mother didn’t learn to drive until age 40, so she rode the school bus with us to Hope Lutheran School, where she worked and volunteered. During one such day when I was young, she led a walk off of 20 children from a school bus. Our bus driver constantly swore, drove aggressively, and was just a terrible person (all of us kids were afraid of him). One day, my mom had enough and demanded that the driver stop the bus. She led all of us off the bus and told him to leave. Later, she told me, “I was just taking you two off the bus, but the rest of the kids followed.” I remember standing in a group of kids at 75th and Kedzie near Nabisco Hill, with my mom acting like a shepherd as the cars whizzed by, the smell of freshly baked cookies in the air. This was the pre-cell phone era, and I don’t remember how we made it to school, but we did. The bus driver was fired.
My mom loved going out to eat with her friends and family. She loved Olive Garden, Ken’s, Horse Thief Hollow, and Flapjacks (especially with her grandson). I believe that she was an undeclared lobbyist for Baker’s Square. I’m more of a local, mom-and-pop restaurant guy, but my mom gave us so many Baker’s Square gift cards that we felt guilty for not using them. Because of her generosity and advocacy for one of her favorite restaurants, we rediscovered a family classic. The food is tasty, and we’re lucky that one of the last locations is just minutes from our home. We still have one Baker’s Square gift card, and we’ll think of her when we use it.
My mom was solely responsible for keeping the U.S. Postal Service in business, or at least it seemed so. She loved sending cards and letters to friends and family members. We’d sometimes receive four or five a week. In this age of emails and texts, it was so nice to receive letters of encouragement—and sometimes cookies—in the mail. I treasure these letters. The tins of cookies never lasted more than a few days.
My mom was a master cook and baker. Chocolate chip cookies, cupcakes, German apple sour cream coffeecake, magic cookie bars, Irish soda bread, Texas sheet cake, potato chip cookies…the list goes on. She was constantly baking and sending sweets to people she knew, as well as those whom she met at restaurants, medical offices, banks, hardware stores, and the post office. Her thoughtfulness and generosity allowed her to make new friends wherever she went. My mom loved baking and passing along her skills to her grandson Liam—who has turned into a wonderful baker. He made the desserts for the wake. My mom LOVED being a grandmother, and she said that Liam was one of the best things in her life.
Finally, my mom will be remembered as a woman of faith who was kind, loving, and hard-working. She had a wonderful sense of humor, a great smile, and she was almost always in a good mood (even when life was challenging). This a great lesson for all.
Mom, we loved and cared for you as best as we could. We’ll miss you terribly but know that we’ll see you again someday. I’m so happy that you could live in your own home (with a lot of help from my brother Tony and others) till you were almost 85 years old. I’m sorry we couldn’t get you home from Asbury Court, but your medical conditions would not allow that. I want to thank Linda Kosary for providing our family with a gift on the morning that my mom passed. After picking up my mom’s body from Asbury, the undertakers were kind enough to drive to my mom’s house on their way to the Kosary Funeral Home so that she could at least be home in spirit one last time. They left a rose and a thoughtful note at her door. I’m grateful for their kindness.
I’m also extremely grateful to her friends, Shirley and Art M., who visited my mom weekly at Asbury. Shirley was my mom’s friend for more than 45 years and was a great friend and helper to her while she lived at home. I’d also like to thank my mother-in-law Kathy and “honorary aunt” Mary for the love and support that they showed my mom and for visiting her weekly at Asbury. Shirley, Art, Kathy, and Mary, your support meant the world both to my mom and to us. Many others helped my mom in different ways. We will never forget them.
In my mom’s memory, I hope that you’ll consider planting flowers next year, baking one of her favorite cookies or cakes, or simply recalling a time that she made you feel supported and loved. And pass on that love and support to others during these challenging times.
My mom ended most of her letters to me in the same way. I’d like to share this sentiment and wish you the same:
“May God watch over you and keep you in his care. God bless you.”
I’ve written a few other articles about my mom, including:
12 Wonderful, Interesting, and Fun Things About My Mom
Why I Garden…And Thoughts on My Italian Ancestors, Farming, the Seasons, and What Not
Copyright Andrew Morkes (text and photos)
I dedicated my book, Nature in Chicagoland: More Than 120 Fantastic Nature Destinations That You Must Visit, to my mom and dad because of their love for the outdoors and because they were two wonderful people. It features amazing destinations in Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, and Wisconsin. Click on the title to learn more. Nature in Chicagoland has 306 pages and 210+ photos.
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ABOUT ANDREW MORKES
I’ve been writing and editing for more than 30 years. I’m the founder of College & Career Press (2002); the author and publisher of “The Morkes Report: College and Career Planning Trends” blog; and the author and publisher of Hot Health Care Careers: 30 Occupations With Fast Growth and Many New Job Openings; Nontraditional Careers for Women and Men: More Than 30 Great Jobs for Women and Men With Apprenticeships Through PhDs; They Teach That in College!?: A Resource Guide to More Than 100 Interesting College Majors, which was selected as one of the best books of the year by the library journal Voice of Youth Advocates; and other titles. They Teach That in College!? provides more information on environmental- and sustainability-related majors such as Ecotourism, Range Management, Renewable Energy, Sustainability and the Built Environment, Sustainability Studies, and Sustainable Agriculture/Organic Farming. I also served as a member of the parent advisory board at my son’s school for five years.
In addition to these publications, I’ve written more than 70 books about careers for other publishing and media companies including Infobase (such as the venerable Encyclopedia of Careers & Vocational Guidance, the Vault Career Guide to Accounting, and many volumes in the Careers in Focus, Discovering Careers, What Can I Do Now?!, and Career Skills Library series) and Mason Crest (including those in the Careers in the Building Trades and Cool Careers in Science series).
Here’s a list of the environmental-focused titles that I’ve written:
- Nature in Chicagoland: More Than 120 Fantastic Nature Destinations That You Must Visit
- Wind Turbine Technicians (Great Careers Without a Bachelor’s Degree series)
- Environmental Scientists (Cool Careers in Science series)
- Renewable Energy Careers (Cool Careers in Science series)
- Environment (Getting Started series)
- Solar Power Technicians (Careers in Infrastructure series)
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